I’ve learned a few things in my life. One is that there are people in the world who would love to see you fail. However, if you stay a good person through and through, there will also be people who would love to see all of your dreams come true. I’ve been hurt a lot in my life and every time I have been lucky enough to have someone there for me. They’re why I can hold my head high.
Sometimes I can’t believe my life is where it’s at. I know I’ve made a lot of mistakes and bad choices in my life and that I’m not done making them. I just don’t believe I deserve to have my life be where it’s at. A dead-end. I want to be someone. I want to make something out of my life. My dreams have been put on hold. I let him do that. I never should have left Disney. I could have climbed higher up the career ladder there. Unfortunately, I let him get into my head and I came home. I’m not sorry that we broke up. Just for the way things ended. I really did love him. I still do. I can honestly say that I have moved on. It will be a while before I meet the right guy. I’m willing to wait. I deserve someone who will put me on a pedestal after everything in my life. I don’t want to live like I use to. I refuse to settle with anything less than perfect.
There has been some terrible things, one in particular, that have destroyed who I am. I’d like to think that I’ve grown stronger because of them, but in the end, I’m weaker. I’m afraid to be in the dark or to go to a party where I don’t know absolutely everyone who will be there. Maybe I’ll get over my past eventually. For now… I’m just taking it one day at a time.